Secret Society of Second Born Royals (Disney +.) Review.

it is time to take out some more Disney straight to streaming trash. This time we have a Disney Channel production that was shifted onto +. This is not an outright mark against it. The Disney Channel has produced some pop culture phenomenon’s in its time even if most of them come with a layer of cheese. Much as this new film is a blatant attempt to kickstart a franchise (as with most of the material in the teen superhero subgenre) it is unlikely to become the next High School Musical.

Imagine a crossover between material the Frozen franchise already did better (not to mention the millions of generic narratives threat existed long before about less popular siblings) and cross it over   with a Sky High fan film produced on about tenth of the budget 2005 Disney was able to spend on that theatrical release and you have something approaching what this viewing experience is like. it is nowhere near as memorably awful as something like Artemis Fowl but that’s likely because clear budgetary limitations mean it does not try as hard. The standard checklist of Disney Channel cliches is all here. Preteens doing their best to harm up an incredibly ropey script, budget constraints made obvious by limited shooting locations, bad CG, and the general aesthetic that the target audience of five to twelve-year olds will not notice this. Anyone outside that target audience will run for the hils.

 Elodie Yung (Electra from the Marvel Netflix shows) and Skylar Astin (Pitch Perfect) fill this production’s quota of C listers that are probably still too good for this. The film lacks any charm or sense that it was not entirely designed by a boardroom of algorithm hungry Disney executives. Say what you will about Sky High but for as much as it might be a little forgotten in the mainstream thanks to the overflow of superhero media that film has developed a cult following that Secret Society of Second Born Royals is unlikely to replicate. It’s hard not to feel that even for the target audience there’s  so much better superhero content out there that this cheap and charmless cash grab will have no staying power beyond review junkies like this writer who are willing to give everything the chance it deserves. Only the morbidly curious Disney plus subscriber needs to suffer this worthless addition to an already crowded subgenre.

3/10

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